This is gonna be a fast entry, again. After today's UT, I will finally feel a load off my chest, as I'm left with one more on Friday. Yippeee to me! (: I've been such a hardworking girl this sem. Hmm, hahaha! I studied like crazy. Sometimes I don't even understand why I'm putting in so much effort. But then again, I always force myself, I just like seeing rewarding results at the end of the day.

Okay, today you actually asked me to meet you..... But...... Just 2 days back you told me you were meeting your friend, so I didn't mentioned anything about us meeting. I guess you forgot, so well, I guess I rather you study anyway. Roarrr! It's okay, I always do understand somehow (: Well oh well, after last night, I didn't want to revise much for UT later. I hope all goes good.

Gotta go now. Buhbyeeeee!

I'm never gonna shut you out.

Here's a picture I just took, now I have to rush to school...

Hey baby, I'm sure you miss Peaco... and also me! So please meet up with me soon! I miss you truckloads <3 Have fun coaching today with those little adorable kids, I'm sure they love you like how I love you too! Also, all the best for your exams, I know you can do it! You're a brilliant boy, much more intelligent than I am in every way. I'm always right behind you, with poms poms alright? I love you baby! (Make sure you drink lots of water today!)

I gotta rush so I can't write any longer! Heeheee. xoxo

I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you.

My fever have subsided. Have been popping pills for one week alrdy, feeling like a slave to it. Now, I've got a inflammed throat. One sickness after another, I'm very very unlucky. A terrible way to kick off my UTs and CNY eh? I'm taking care of myself right now, I wanna get better, I wanna eat junk food again. Heh! ^^v

Well, I tried my best to study today, it was good. Just that at times I tend to just lie down on the table. Gaahh.. I've got no mood to continue on with my revision and also for tmrw's UT, which is why I'm here blogging.

I just needed to rant too! I miss my boyfriend. We haven't met for more than a week. I was kinda upset actually due to the fact that I don't get to see him and yet he & his friends could meet. Well, I don't blame him because it's my fault that I'm busy too. It just makes me unhappy knowing we can't meet. However, I'm always counting down to the days we finally meet. Though we're physically apart, we're always together heart-to-heart. Right baby? (:

Okiedokies, I shall wash up and sleep. I pray the splitting headaches doesn't come every now and then so I may have a good rest. All the best to all those who are taking their exams too! Cheerios!

*

So it's alrdy 7 of February. Going down the calender, it'll be my 1 year anniversary with my babyboy, Gerald. In less than a 15 days in fact. I'm so excited because it amazes me that after all good and bad that have happened, we managed to get ourselves still tangled together. I'm glad nothing has broken us apart. I need you so much, everytime you're aren't with me, there's a part of me that is longing to be with you every single time. From then on, I knew it's you that I want to be with. Though there's many things in this world, including you & I, that could simply pull us away from each other, but I believe this 1st year will just be a stepping stone to something even more beautiful. I'm waiting and hoping to see where this love takes us.. As I've said 1 year isn't enough to prove our love, therefore, if you're willing (because I am), take my hand, go through life with me? I love you, I do.

edited \ 11:32pm

I'm feeling a little moody, yes. I'm still gonna deny anyhow. It sucks not being there with you. It sucks knowing you're with your friends. It sucks knowing they can skipped school to be over at your place this late. It sucks having fucking exams. It sucks for us not meeting. It sucks, simply sucks ttm!!!! To add on, when I wanted you with me the past few days, you weren't. Okay more like we both didn't have the opportunity to meet. I didn't want to look back on it, and take them into account. Now I wished I saw you yesterday at least. I shldn't have said no to you coming over yesterday. I should have given a firm yes. FML, really.

Somtimes you put me through crazy emotions, but I love you through it all.

We're more than friends, and even more than lovers.

Yesterday, skipped school again and ended up in the library studying with Mai and her boyfriend. It was good, managed to get my work done. Stayed in school till library closed and when I reached home, I was so tired I swear my whole body couldn't move.

Today's Accounting UT was hmmm... No comments. I just hope to get a C+. Well, just when I thought my body aches was really a sign a falling ill, I was right. I've just recovered from flu but now I have a fever. I felt so terrible while on the way to Grandma's hse for Benjamin's birthday. I was so alone, I had no one to lean on and no one to comfort me. I cried alot today, it sucks being not strong at all ): I hate to fall sick, especially at the inappropriate times like having UTs! Just my luck! Grrr..

I feel really better now after taking this supposedly good medicine from some doctor! I'm just very tired still. Gonna continue mugging till the last UT. Wish me luck! (:

People who are meant to be together, always find their way in the end.

Yesterday after school, studied with Aga till the school library closed.

Today, I spend my time studying still. How boring can this phase of my life get! I skipped school again today, I can't believe I'm being such a sloth as I skipping school tmrw too. Oh dear.. Joy joy joy. So studying today with Aga was a tad unproductive because we were sitting too close to the cafe where it was kinda noisy with people walking up and down. After which, went for the collection of my uniform for year 2. Yes, I have to wear a uniform for some days. & yes, I'm a poly student. Goshh.. Nevermind, I really don't mind, I just wanna get done with school with a satisfying grade. I have 2 more years to go, I can't imagine it...

Just came back an hour ago after my Chingay briefing which was horribly boring. I'm super tired, feel so worn out these days. I hate the fact I'm slogging all my time and rest away just because UTs are around the corner. If I don't do well, I'll feel so crappy as I wasted my time.

*

These days, I tend to think alot, on the positive side though. Looking at how couples behaved towards each other and they have enlightened me alot. I love it when how guys actually write their heartfelt words to their girlfriends, it's really sweet and it's very rare. Also, the way a guy treats his girlfriend, as though she's the only one for him. I can't possibly described what I really meant, but yea, I tend to get jealous of loving couples nowadays. I don't know if its a good or bad thing because I never really envy pple, ever.

Okay, time to wash up & rest! <3

I want to be the best I can be, for you.

Gerald came over without letting me know in advance, and he caused himself to be waiting outside because I was taking a shower! Well, he came over and slept -.- But it's fine, I knew he was tired and I appreciate that he came all the way down to see me. I love you baby.

If only I could skip school everyday just like today.. I've done a little bit of my revision. I'm feeling really hungry, drank 6 cups of water so far, 1 love letter, 1 Ferrero Rocher, cereal with milk, slice of fruit cake and that's all :\ I can hear my stomach grumbling. Glub glubbb~ The smell from the kitchen is intoxicating, Mommy is cooking dinner tonight. Haven't had a home cooked meal for quite some time, I would always love to cook in the past with my maid and stuff, now I hardly have any opportunity to.

Anyway, although I didn't attend class today, the RJ was: Highlight one person in E36J who has left a positive impresson on you and elaborate why. Gillian wrote, me. Awww (;

Extract of what she wrote: "The person who has left a positive impression on me is Joy as she has good time management. She is always improving herself, trying and giving her best in the things that she do. For example, this can be seen in her participating in class, putting in effort in her RJ and quiz and studying hard for her UT. Other than studying, she also has her own social life. She studies hard when it is time to study, and plays equally hard during the holidays. This is quite difficult for me as I always get distracted during studying, and I always leave to last minute for my RJ or revision for the UT. Thus, I can say that she is a good role model for me to learn from, and has left a good impression on me." Love you girl :D

Taking a break from my studies now! Nom~

I miss you alrdy.

Take me to your heart where it's crying for you.

It's 1st of February and well, there's alot of events I look forward to!

• Chinese New Year
• 1 year Anniversary With Gerald
• Holidays
• Shopping, chilling, clubbing (Anything, with friends is awesome!)
• E36J chalet
• Taking my driving licence (haha)

This are a few reasons why I look forward to life, hahaha! On a side note, news spread fast I supposed. RP has been circulating pictures of these couple, and apparently the girl was exposing her upper body. I've seen the picture personally and I really sympathize them. I guess RP's reputation is going down down down too. My level today had lots of commotion. I don't get it with these pple. Previously, there were fights and stuff, now this, what's with these people nowadays -.- No where is safe anymore, people are dangerous, so are places, sadly.

Okay so, school today was kinda slack, except that I am down with flu. I keep sneezing like crazy and couldn't sleep last night, I was feeling super unwell! Finally didn't want to be stubborn and headed down to the doctors, can't afford the be ill during UTs! The doctor seemed really unprofessional and I hope the medicine prescribed work if not I'll be so pissed! Okay, so I'm at Grammy's hse now, I didn't follow Daddy & Jill to church because I'm really unwell. I wanna play with Sasha, but I'm afraid her fur gets the worse of me! Roarrr.

I don't wanna study now, I just wanna head home and pounce myself on the bed. I hate the feeling of being sick, because all I wanna do is sleep sleep sleep.. Not gonna study tonight! Okay, toodles! *I MUST GET WELL SOON*

Our last day with our Accounting faci, Gail.

The doctor's I last went 3 years ago.

Sasha, how adorable she is.

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Today was supposed to be a beautiful day, but it ended bad, again.

Gerald stayed over last night, I thought we've cleared the air, but sad to say, back to square one. Anyway, met Jill in Town where we went to shop. Got everything I wanted except the red bag I was eyeing so badly on. I didn't buy it in the end, but I hope to get it when I go down there again because I really like it alot! Walked around till our legs were super tired. Jill went off and I headed down to Gluttons Bay to meet Girlfriend & Vivian. Soon after, she left and Keith & Aaron came to join us. I'm finally home. Time check: 12:38am.

I have no mood to blog about whatever that happened today. But I can blog about my feelings right now. As I typed this, tears are flowing down.. I shan't write it all here. Fuck everything. Goodnight.

edited \ 8:22pm

Everything is looking better. I've really tried my best this time to fend off all the negativity. I know at this point in time, only I can change everything. So I studied the whole day today, with many glances at the tvee every now and then. I'm really tired right now. My body is aching after sitting on the chair the entire day! Mommy should buy the OSIM chair, heehee. Okay, time to wash up and rest! Monday's a boohoo dayyy >:( Too much of cash outflow and no inflowwww.. *bang*

Once I was falling in love, but now I'm falling apart.

Yesterday supposed to study but didn't in the end. Had dinner with Daddy & Paul, it was a good time. I love spending time like this with them. We've all been so busy but I'm glad we always managed to squeeze aside time.

Anyway, I can't believe I cried myself to sleep last night. Recollecting my past, it has been awhile since I've tears rolling down. I presumed this was really my breaking point ): I shan't say much here, no one truly knows how I'll feel, so yeaaa... Well, I was late today, I wanted to get my A because I aint coming next week, but Candice was late so all of us were late. Tsk! See, never rely on people, because anything can happen.

I took the bus home today, it sucks so badly. I guess I'm used to the car ride to and fro school that's why.. I came back home and have not touch any of my work, inlcuding RJ. My body's aching, I'm feeling so sleepy. Aiyahh, I'll only continue on with my nonsensical ramblings. So.. toodles. Tvee time!

Pictures from the Tradeshow a few days back!

More photos @ http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=373952&id=852515452&l=bcd12e8e42

Without you, I'll be miserable at best.

After Monday's talk, I've decided to just stay in my course I'm currently in. Hope it will be the right decision I make, as I hate regretting. I've regretted many things in life, and I've been constantly telling myself good things to cover up my losses. Now I'm older, hopefully stronger and firm in whatever I do. In the evening, Gerald came over to my place where we cook noodles & curry for dinner. It seems like a daily routine that every Monday he'll come over to my place. However, although I miss him always, I don't want to be dependent on him.

Yesterday, class was boring because it was Cognitive. Ordered Macs and I had my McSpicy. I think it's gotta be my favorite after having Filet-O-Fish for years. Went over to Christine's house after school. Had this super good beancurd at Serangoon Central. Wasn't able to play WII as we were doing work. Christine's brothers were really nice. I felt like a bigger sister for once (knowing I'm the youngest in the family), because they called me "Joy Jie-jie". Hahaha (: Cabbed home after that, which explains why I'm so broke nowww. Pfft..

Anyhooo, today finally had lesson out of the classroom as we were having Tradeshow. Luckily I didn't put so much effort into it, because I really think it was a waste of time. Everything's complete and now don't have to stress over it. Great job by my team & I, although we didn't win, I felt we were really awesome! Heehee.. Got to met up with Justin, which I haven't for damn long. Caught up with him, and stuff.. However, I ended my day on a bad note. Was quite upset with Aga, and Gerald made it worse, but all's good now.

*

I'm very particular, and it sucks always being the last to know anything. If I don't ask, you won't say, and that is something I dislike. Although it's not anything important, I just wish you could tell me and not leave me hanging. You got my mind thinking.. Sometimes I feel that we don't owe each other any explanations or sort. We aint married and we do have the right to be free and keep secrets. But then again, I aint someone like that. I've been too frank, too frank at times it causes my downfall. Perhaps my girls were right, not everything should be told, some things you gotta keep it within yourself. Well, they have been through more than me. But whenever I do what they say, I still feel uneasy and let it all out. For reasons like this, I do hate myself.

I'm not a little girl, what you think I don't know might be something I know. Don't be too sure just yet.. Like what my faci told me today, all men are jerks. I've come to believe in that fact. Everytime I want things to turn out fine for us, it just wouldn't. It hurts me so badly.. I guess in this world, there's no such thing as eternal happiness. If I had a choice, I would rather live in a fairtytale world. But then again. Snap.

& I received some moolahs from Nuffnang. Yayee me :D

My brother loves dog & this is one of his cutest soft toy. Yes, he's young at heart ^^

Paul's birthday celebration pictures below!

Marion's birthday celebration pictures below!

More photos (Paul) @ http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=373948&id=852515452&l=77e3835c52

More photos (Marion) @ http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=373951&id=852515452&l=5d9d745953

Does love mean everything in this world?